Juz read a book called "Let's Get Lost" by Sarra Manning. It's quite interesting. It's about this girl who was often bullied when she was in primary school, and grew up to become a bully. As she always tried to hide her feelings, no one knew how insecure and lonely she felt deep down inside. When her mom died in an accident, she blamed herself because she had been arguing with her mom when the accident took place. It was just a coincidence that shja happened to be wearing her safety belt, so she just got a few scratches. She blamed herself terribly and had nightmares every night, where her mom would be talking and smiling sweetly at her, and then suddenly disappear into thin air. Although she wouldn't admit it, she actually missed her mom terribly. Her dad didn't know how she was hurting deep down inside, and he actually blamed her for his wife's death. She wasn't used to showing her feelings to anyone,especially not her dad, so she said nothing. During the funeral, her brother cried loudly, but she didn't even shed a tear. To her, tears are signs of weakness, and she didn't want to give her dad satisfaction from seeing her crying.

And this got me thinking, aren't i just the same? Sometines, i like to keep things to myself. Whenever i'm feeling sad, i don't show it to people. But because of that, some of my frens think i don't have feelings, they think they can say whatever they like, and i won't feel the slightest hint of sadness. It's not true. I'm also a human, i also have feelings. I've been happy , but i've also been hurt and broken. I know what betrayal feels like, how indescribably(does this word exist?) painful it feels when u have ur best friend turn her back on you. I've gone through all that, and it had undoubtedly made me stronger than i used to be, but i'll still feel sad. Just because months have passed, does it mean you can act as nothing has ever happened?

It's hard to admit that no matter how hard i try, the scar will always be there, reminding me of the pain and hurt i've been through.